


Dream a Little Dream

by Jemisard



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 03:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14228673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jemisard/pseuds/Jemisard
Summary: Cole's terrified of getting some much needed sleep and Inquisitor Nadezhda wants Dorian to help with his fears.





	Dream a Little Dream

It was apparent that someone would need to do something. And soon.

 

Dorian sat at a table in the Herald's Rest and watched through the window. He was most inclined to let Solas handle it all, but ever since the changes had started, Solas had been obviously conflicted and that had led to this.

 

Cole was never really a sight for sore eyes. But right now, perched on an outcropping and in the full sunset light, he looked almost like the nightmarish creature he feared being.

 

"Still out there?"

 

"Mm-hm." Dorian didn't look away as Nadezhda clambered up onto a stool next to him and leaned into him to watch as well.

 

"He's scared. I can't blame him. He doesn't have any good memories of the Fade. "

 

"No." Dorian had been there at Adamant with her. And with Cole and Blackwall. Rainier. Whoever he was.

 

"He's been there twice since he manifested as Cole. And spent both times being chased, hunted and frightened. With us was actually the better time. I wouldn't want to risk a third time."

 

On the outcropping, Cole's head bobbed and snapped up. The ruddy light was making his gaunt features even more pronounced and shadowed.

 

"He's going to fall off soon."

 

"Yeah, probably. Solas will catch him."

 

"Ten says he won't."

 

Nadezhda looked at Dorian and sighed. "No, he won't, I better go and get him down before he kills himself falling. Or whatever it is that happens to spirits who had manifested like he did..." She shrugged and slid off the stool. "Stay there. I want to talk to you about this after I get him somewhere safe."

 

"I have half a bottle of wine left, I'm not going anywhere," Dorian assured her.

 

Though he poured himself a generous helping when he saw her stomp out in time to have Cole fall asleep, tumble and then teleport himself to safety while poor Nadezhda crashed into the ground trying to catch him.

 

*~*~*

"He's scared."

 

"We already covered that."

 

Nadezhda planted her fists on her hips, staring at Dorian as though he was being unreasonable.

 

Dorian, comfortably settled in his wingback chair in his nook of the library, thought that he was being more than fair. "Well, we did. He's scared of sleeping because he's scared of the Fade. Not an unreasonable concern, I can't say I always find it the most pleasant of avenues."

 

"Dorian, I am one of the least qualified people in the world to talk about the Fade or dreaming or any of that. I only have dreams when Solas manages to pull me in through the Anchor and it's really unpleasant. Don't know how you lot manage it every night and still wake up feeling refreshed." She poked a finger at him.

 

"Please don't poke me with your glowy mark hand. I spend enough time in the Fade already."

 

"Haha. Seriously, I need a mage to talk to him, help, and you're the best choice." She gave him puppy eyes.

 

Unfortunately for Nadezhda, Dorian had never been a fan of dogs of any variety. "And Solas, as a Rift Mage of some kind, Elvhen mystic lore keeper and the person with the most knowledge of spirits and other denizens of the Fade would be ideally suited for helping the spirit-boy turned semi-mortal with his Fade-phobia." He turned the page on his book. "Not me, a practising Necromancer from Tevinter."

 

"It's not about any of that. Well, actually, it is. But not just." She kicked his feet until he moved them off the footstool and she could sit down. "Solas just keeps telling him it's natural, just relax and he'll love it and it's not helping him. Solas is too confident with the Fade. He can't... empathise with Cole's fear."

 

Dorian groaned and rolled his eyes. "Look, just because I'm fond of the strange boy doesn't mean I'm suited to this."

 

"It has to be a mage and only three of you really understand what Cole is. Solas isn't helping and Vivienne..."

 

"Say no more about Madam de Fer," Dorian cut in. "I am aware that she would be less than ideal. But I really don't know what you expect. I can't make him not afraid."

 

"Just... talk to him. Listen. Give him the information he needs. Maybe talk him through what happens when humans sleep."

 

"But he isn't human, my dear Nadezhda. He looks human, and maybe he's more human than he was once, but believe me, Cole is very much not human. I don't know what will happen when he sleeps. No one does, because he is, as far as any record we have is concerned, completely unique." And that was probably for the best. One Cole was bad enough, a small group of them would descend upon Thedas with all the concern of an army of elderly grandmothers.

 

He chuckled at the thought.

 

Nadezhda quirked her eyebrow at him.

 

"No, nothing, but my point remains. Much like a young mage, he must simply do it and discover for himself."

 

"... Like a young mage," Nadezhda murmured.

 

"I don't like when you speak like that. It means trouble."

 

"Mages can go with each other into the Fade, right? You do the thing where you know it's not real."

 

"Lucid dreaming, yes... no. Nadezhda, no. I am not going in with him."

 

"Dorian! It's not like you don't sleep anyway! And dream, and go into the Fade, just... you can go in ahead and find Cole and either make him lucid or help him work through his fears there. Keep off anything that might hunt him until he's confident." She grabbed his knees and leaned in. "Please? It's not for me. It's for  _ Cole _ ."

 

"..." Dorian sighed. Cole, who never asked for anything for himself, not even this. "... Fine. I'll go with him. But don't think I'm doing this every night."

 

"Thank you!" Nadezhda threw herself into his arms and hugged him, her solid weight shaking his breath from him.

 

"All right, all right, get off me, you'll wrinkle my clothing. I'm far too awake now, I'll go in with him later today. Tonight."

 

"You're the best, Dorian." Her enthusiastic, from the lap cuddling didn't stop until he actually pushed her off of him.

 

"I already knew that, go, go, I have reading to do. Wine to drink. You need to go and collapse reality with your death hand or some such."

 

"You're so weird," she said fondly. "I'll send him up around four or five?"

 

"Send him when he positively can't cope anymore and I've got at least a bottle in me to help me sleep." Dorian waved her off. "Go."

 

"Going, going... do you think if I jumped the railing, I'd break my legs?"

 

"And Solas' table and mind, probably, which doesn't make it worth it." He saw her shrug slightly and trudge off towards the stairs.

 

Only once she was gone did he close the book and lean back into his chair. He knew why he agreed, but he really didn't know what to do or expect when they did this. And he only had until Cole turned up to work it out.

 

*~*~*

 

"I was hoping to have an epiphany before now."

 

Cole's head dropped to the side in a motion that was aiming for 'curious tilt' and came closer to 'too tired to hold my head up on my ridiculously thin neck anymore'.

 

"About this, and you and how I'm supposed to help." Dorian, comfortably stretched out on his bed, watched the young spirit slowly and heavily lift his head again. "But you do need to sleep, Cole."

 

"I didn't before."

 

"But you clearly do  _ now _ . So you're going to have to. I'll be there this time, but you're going to have simply accept it eventually. And avoiding it is not going to make this problem go away." Dorian patted the bed next to him. "I know, you're scared, but you can't look after anyone if you're not well enough to do so. You cannot care for others unless you care for yourself."

 

"... I need to look after my form. Because it needs things." The words were slow and considered.

 

"Yes. That is very much it," Dorian agreed. "Now, take off those dirty out layers, I am not having those shoes on my blankets and then you may come and lay down. I find it easier to locate someone in the Fade if they're physically near."

 

Cole shrugged off his jacket, the armour landing with a hefty thud. The harness for his knives was taken off a bit more carefully and set down with a soft murmur and pet over the metal blades that was bizarre and a little endearing. His shoes were slipped off and he unstrapped the light plates that protected his outer thighs from stray blows.

 

".. Cole, you have your shirt on backwards."

 

Cole looked at the shirt. "How?"

 

"That v opening is meant to be at the front."

 

"Why?"

 

Dorian paused. "I honestly don't know," he admitted.

 

"I think it this way. My neck can feel the breeze." And that was that, apparently. He came over, looking at the bed and then Dorian.

 

"I know you know how to lie down and sleep. You remember being human."

 

"Yes. But I haven't done it in a long time." He still crawled onto the edge of the bed and lay down facing Dorian, curling up into a small ball for such a tall and lanky boy.

 

Up close, his exhaustion was etched over his face, aging him far beyond his apparent years. His eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles looked bruised more than just discoloured.

 

And he looked scared.

 

Dorian gave a soft sigh and lay on his side to look at Cole. He reached out and curled his hand around the boy's, holding it gently. "It's going to be okay. I'll be in there with you, you won't be alone."

 

Cole's gaze lifted, lightened briefly. "Thank you, Dorian."

 

"Don't get mushy on me, Cole," Dorian sighed. "Just go to sleep. I'll be there soon to find you."

 

"Okay." Cole closed his eyes, sighing softly. "But I'm not mushy." There was a pause that was a bit too long. "I have a skeleton and everything..."

 

Dorian opened an eye, but Cole was already clearly asleep, so Dorian focused on just relaxing his body and letting sleep take him.

 

*~*~*

 

The Fade never changed that much.

 

Or at least, in as much as it was ever changing, ever senseless, never the same in any two moments.

 

Dorian looked to the horizon, to the Black City. Definitely in the Fade. Around him, people dreamed without knowing, living out moments in that blissful way that only non-mages could.

 

Wisps wandered closer to him as he moved himself higher, to try and gain some kind of metaphorical vantage point. They clung to his clothes, trying to steal whatever breath of life they could from him. "Go away," he murmured. "You can't have me. You're not even real demons or spirits."

 

" _ They could be _ ."

 

The voice echoed, but not like a spirit. Not unlike either. Dorian spun around and found his breath, however unnecessary, stolen briefly.

 

The form in front of him stood on a wall of a castle from a memory that might never has existed. The pale hair floated and shone like a gold halo, lit from some inner light. Pale skin glowed with warmth and love and big, silver eyes watched him with the sort of depth of understanding that he'd craved all his life.

 

" _ They could be spirits one day. Whole and haunting, wanting, waiting, wishing... _ "

 

"Cole?" Dorian voice was soft. "Is that... you?"

 

The Fade shifted around them. They were standing inside somewhere, with stones and darkness spilling everywhere. Cole, because that glowing being had to be him, looked around them. " _ No... not Cole. Not here. Please, I don't want to be here. _ "

 

Dorian reflexively shifted it away from that, to the more familiar halls of Skyhold and small, half formed spirits flooded in, playing at being people around them. "There we go. You're Cole here all the time. Though not usually... quite so glowy."

 

The spirit-Cole moved in that same disconcerting twist of reality and dark green smoke to appear closer to Dorian. " _ I'm more me here and less... me. But all me. What do I look like? _ "

 

"Well... I suppose you look like you usually do, mostly." Only, not. Not with that soft luminosity, the halo, the sheer loveliness of him. "You look, beautiful, frankly."

 

" _ You think I'm beautiful? _ " Cole didn't really smile, but the glow shifted slightly, warming up. " _ I'm just... Compassion. Weak. _ "

 

"No, no, Cole, caring for others is one of the single strongest thing I've ever seen someone do. I don't know how you can keep doing it so openly and whole heartedly and not go completely insane." It was a brief, rare moment of honesty, almost painfully so. For a moment, Dorian wasn't sure what prompted it until he realised he was empathising. Being affected by Cole's mere presence.

 

Cole couldn't help it anymore than any other spirit here. Dorian just hoped he might not remember his dreaming.

 

"Come on, let's walk." Dorian summoned up his staff, preferring to walk with the familiar tap of the staff end on the stones.

 

Cole manifested at his side and followed after him, almost walking, more sort of floating and moving his feet in a manner meant to imitate walking. It was the Fade; intent was better than actual action.

 

"Where are you staying- no, let me rephrase that. Where do you keep your belongings?"

 

" _ Um...above the Herald's Rest. There's an attic. With boxes and crates. I sit up there when no one needs me. _ "

 

"Because that's not at all strange and worrying. Do you have furniture up there?"

 

" _ I've got boxes and crates I sometimes sit on. Is that furniture? _ "

 

"No, not in any sense that matters." Dorian glanced and realised Cole didn't have his ever present hat on for once. Curious. "You should have furniture. A comfortable chair. A bed. Things to be kind to your body. In fact... you can show me."

 

" _ You know where it is. You walk through sometimes, going to The Iron Bull's room. _ "

 

"Sweet Mithras, that part of the attic. Cole, that's not actually a room, it's servant's thoroughfare and storage space."

 

" _ I'm storing me up there when I'm not needed! _ "

 

"... Cole, no." Dorian took the boy's hand and tugged it into the crook of his own elbow to walk with him. "We don't store people. People who treat other people like that own slaves, and slavery is not something to aspire to."

 

" _ Oh _ ." Cole's fingers kneaded against Dorian's arm. " _ I don't want to do that to me. Or be like the Circle. They kept mages in furnished cells like naughty children, but the threat of the lyrium brand hung heavy. _ "

 

Dorian could feel the Fade trying to shift and respond, but he held it firm. He had challenged and survived Desire demons since his youth, the fears and anxiety of a Compassion spirit would not overpower him here.

 

"Therefore, you'll be kind to yourself. We'll find you a space of your own, with a bed and a chest you can lock to keep your belongings in."

 

" _ I don't need a lock. If someone needs something more than I do, they should have it _ ."

 

"But there are people who will steal not because they need, but because they want, and it's not the same. Someone might take your knives and try to sell them because they want money. And you need them."

 

" _ Yes. _ " Cole nodded and flickered away from Dorian, appearing on the edge of the well they had somehow wandered towards. " _ I need them. So I should keep them safe while I sleep? _ "

 

"Anytime you're not wearing them." They hadn't had any serious thefts yet, but it was only a matter of time with the way they were expanding.

 

" _ All right. I understand. _ " Cole looked down the well, as if he expected something in there.

 

He was fading a little, as he slipped out of dreaming. It was a good step; they'd got him through dreaming without any disasters and hopefully, it would help his mind and spirit stay calm as he adjusted to the idea of the Fade not being all terrible.

 

Cole was walking on the edge of the well now, singing something to himself. Around the stones, grass and flowers were starting to grow and bloom and stretch out, transforming the muddy yard into a pleasant, glade like space.

 

Dorian stepped back a bit more, content to simply keep watch on Cole's dreamscape for the time being.

 

*~*~*

 

Through the night, Cole had wandered in and out the Fade in what seemed to be normal cycles. He talked to Dorian a couple of times while they drank tea made of laughter in a castle of architecturally unlikely beauty, and he danced with a spirit that took the shape of a young girl in a grubby yellow dress.

 

Dorian was sure he saw Solas check on them during the night, nothing more than a brief glimpse before the mists of the Fade obscured him from sight. Cole was distracted at the time, watching Iron Bull and Cremisius beat on each other with giant flowers while a small army of toy nugs watched and applauded from the sidelines.

 

As much as he hated to be the responsible one, he felt he had to intervene rather than go and annoy Solas, since the spirit playing Cremisius had just offered Cole a petal from his victory winning beat-stick-flower and Dorian did not want to have to deal with the possibilities of Cole getting into trouble with other spirits.

 

Luckily, that particular spirit slunk off when Dorian approached and he didn't have to ask any questions he didn't really want answers to anyway.

 

And so, when Dorian woke, Cole was stirring next to him, looking rested and relaxed and adorably dozy like a half asleep kitten.

 

Dorian sat himself up in bed, leaning into the headboard. He watched Cole for a little while, as the boy half woke, blinked at him and smiled and then settled back in to sleep again.

 

"Don't think you're usually getting to sleep here," Dorian murmured. And got up, leaving Cole sleeping in a nest on his blankets. Just this time, until he was properly rested and ready to get up and about.

 

Dorian washed and dressed and went down to find Solas, to grill him about his late night wanderings in the Fade. He couldn't find the elusive elf at first, so he set up by the training ring to watch the Chargers beat each other up.

 

"It's a pity we don't have giant flowers to give them," Solas said from his side.

 

Dorian managed not to show a thing, years of repression letting him just yawn as though he hadn't had a year of growth frightened out of him. "Though I can do without the stuffed nugs watching and applauding. You were lurking."

 

"I saw you both and wanted to see if you were having any luck calming Cole down." Solas seated himself next to Dorian. "And as it happened, you did a... an acceptable job."

 

"That almost sounded like praise. Careful, you might concede I have some knowledge of the Fade next."

 

Solas gave Dorian a long, dry look. "It was good to see him relax. Go back to his normal colour."

 

Dorian was quiet. "Colour?"

 

"Ah." Solas gave him that smug little smile. "Of course. Let me guess, you saw something bright and happy and brilliant."

 

It took another moment for Dorian to click onto what he meant. "Oh, how mortifying. Of course."

 

"Welcome to the conversation, Dorian. Cole is a still a spirit, despite the best efforts of the Inquisitor and Varric. And spirits-"

 

"Look like what we think their being is." The only relief was that he hadn't actually told Solas what he saw.

 

"To most people, yes."

 

"Not you, of course, because you're you."

 

"Of course," Solas agreed. "Desire is what you want. Wisdom is the great mentor you always craved. Envy is that perfect, unreachable person."

 

And Compassion... that weak, unbreakable empathy for others. That golden thing that was lost in Tevinter with the Golden City...

 

Dorian looked at Solas, sitting there quiet and smug. "You know, a Desire spirit came creeping around. As Cremisius, and we all know he's not my type..."

 

Solas' expression went cold. "Excuse me. I think I need to go have a word with young Cremisius."

 

Mischief achieved, conversation derailed, Dorian settled back in to watch the latest little drama unfold.


End file.
